This is the price I’ve paid

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Finding imagery for this piece was a task. When I am writing, I have certain images in my head that I try to paint with words, sometimes it is more literal and sometimes it is all just fantasy. I reached out to a photographer friend of mine and he reminded me of a place I’d never been to, but wanted to check out: Moonstone Beach. I went there at sunset, not quite knowing what I would find, but ending up with some amazing sights and images. The beach itself is so smooth and sensual looking (is it because it used to be a nude beach? Maybe!), the sand covered in the smoothest, prettiest rocks. Beach rocks are my weakness. My porch is covered in collections of them… suffice it to say, Moonstone Beach surpassed my expectations. Thank you endlessly to Rhode Island for being so beautiful even in all its small ways.

This piece…. was another one that simply poured out of me one day. The rhythm of it, the mournful tones it took on; my heart was all in for those moments, the pen was almost moving on its own. After I finished it, I felt a sense of loss in myself; almost like little pieces of me were left in the words on the paper much like they are left in that love.

This is all supposed to be therapeutic, the writing…. sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes I write and my soul is just still so heavy, with no answers, no rest in it all. Maybe someday I’ll look back at it with happiness, instead of a sense of sadness, knowing it has all come at a price. I’m willing to pay that price now, but there is a day of reckoning that may come. What will the final price be? I don’t yet know.

Hopefully my heart is ready.

Robyn