Breathless in Between: finding a place to breathe

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This sort of formula for creating I’ve been practicing is one that seems make the most sense to me. To write, photograph, and paint, not always in that order, yet always with this trio of imagery that brings the emotion I am feeling together.

This series “Breathless in Between” is no exception. I wrote the words in just a few minutes, a morning when I struggled to breathe through my feelings. How does one explain the feeling of an endless horizon, where someone sits so far away, and you are sitting there wondering if there is a way to wait to calmly. Or is it a lifetime of desperation and wanting that awaits you? I don’t know the answer for myself or anyone else for that matter, so, there is no real end to these thoughts. But I suppose the whole point of writing is to just let those emotions out. There are days when I am writing and its almost like I’m not quite there; the pen seems to move on its own, words spilling from within me in an almost chaotic way and it all hopefully makes sense in the end…..

When I create a painting, I will generally go out in search of an inspiring scene. This one was heading back to an old favorite place of mine: Conimicut Point in Warwick. I used to live one cove away from here, in a quiet little neighborhood surrounded by little cottages and hard working people. It was beautiful, serene, and cozy. I was coming out of a difficult situation when I moved there, into a tiny cottage just the right size for my oldest daughter and I. This neighborhood I lived in for almost two years, safely and quietly; where I discovered how to live on my own. There are many days even now, I wish I could go back there and do it again. Here on this little beach, so long ago, I learned I could breathe and I could begin my journey to find me. It wasn’t much, but it was the best place I could have ended up in that phase of my life. After all these years, have I gone very far? Maybe not. But I am still close to this home away from home… so on this day, it was a special time to end up there on that chilly Spring morning.

I don’t really ever try to paint an exact replica of a moment. That kind of pressure is too much for me. I look at the colors and the textures and the mood…. and I just paint with my heart. I can only hope, that others find the words and imagery as something they can see and feel themselves in.